


Ghost Gang™

by creativent



Series: Ghostbusters (but not really our budget is too low for that) [1]
Category: Voltron Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura squeals, British Allura, Coran tells stories, Cuban Lance, Japanese Shiro, Keith always gets injured, Korean Keith, Lance's ass gets grabbed, Langst, M/M, Matt shrieks, Mutual Pining, Pidge records, Samoan Hunk, Shiro sweats in silence, Slow Updates, Sorry guys, american pidge and matt, ghostbusters - Freeform, only a little bit, scottish coran
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-11-13 00:44:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11173443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativent/pseuds/creativent
Summary: A group of struggling college students start a youtube account filled to the brim with shitty yet funny videos as a way to relieve stress only it backfires and creates stress, ghost encounters, and injuries.





	1. First Ever Video!! (Sorry if it sucks we're new to this)

**Author's Note:**

> credit for the ghostbusters au goes to blueradberry on tumblr
> 
> everytime a [WHOOSH] happens it's pidge too lazy to edit out the full swear so they put in a whooshing noise halfway through it
> 
> everytime there's a clip of the original ghostbusters dancing it means there was a transition in the video

**_Views:_** **_2250_**

 ** _Likes:_** **_2144_**

 **_Subscriptions:_ ** **_1239_ **

 

A jostling of a camera. Hands appear from off screen, turning the camera towards a tan boy whose nose and one eye invade the screen. The camera jostles some more. A tiny pale hand appears from off screen and smacks the tan boy right on the nose. A pained screech. The camera blurs, then focuses on the outside of an old house. The colour is faded, the door is in splinters and off the hinges. Glass from the broken windows litter the front lawn, which is covered in dead grass. A leafless tree casts a shadow on the house. The sky is overcast, but the sun is trying to make an appearance.

“Okay,” someone off screen says, turning the camera around to show three guys. “Introduce yourselves.”

All three start talking at once before glaring at each other. Simultaneously, they raise their hands in fists and do a three-way rock-paper-scissors contest. The winner, after doing a small victory dance, steps forward. He’s wearing a baggy white muscle tank top with a cartoon drawing of a blue cat licking an ice cream cone, black skinny jeans, tons of handwoven bracelets on each wrist, all white converse with blue, red, purple, green, and yellow striped laces, and a black beanie jammed on top of wavy brown hair. He grins at the camera, flashing pearly whites that stand out against tan skin and bright blue eyes.

“Hey everyone! My name’s Lance McClain, ghost hunter extraordinaire. But you can call me - OOF!”

He gets elbowed aside by a pale guy with his somewhat longer hair tied up in a small ponytail wearing a black t-shirt, black skinny jeans, black fingerless motorcycle gloves, white and black converse, and an unzipped red sweater with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. “Hi I’m Keith Kogane and I apologize in advance for that loser.” He jabs his thumb in the direction Lance fell in and stepped off screen to make room for the last one. Donned in a simple yellow muscle tank top that reveals his tribal tattoo sleeves and muscular arms, blue skinny jeans and brown flip flops, dark brown hair falling into his eyes, he flashes a warm smile.

“Hello! My name is Hunk Garrett, and I wanted to say thanks for watching! Pidge, now it’s your turn.” Hunk takes the camera and flips it around to reveal a tiny human being wearing a green hoodie that’s far too big for them, beige skinny jeans, huge round glasses that take up half their face, caramel hair tied up in a messy bun, and black hiking boots.

“I’m Pidge Holt and I do the camera work. Can I have my baby back now Hunk?” It sounds like more of a demand than a question, but Hunk does as told anyways.

“Right, now let’s get to the good sh[WHOOSH]it,” Keith says off camera.

“Ah fu[WHOOSH]ck, I’m going to have to edit that out later.”

_//really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing//_

“Alright,” Hunk stage whispers dramatically. “We’re entering the creepy house.” The camera moves to show Keith, armed with a flashlight, slowly pushing the door open. It creaks loudly, and everyone flinches. Keith glances back at Lance and Hunk, who make ‘shoo’ing motions with their hands. He grimaces, but clicks on his flashlight and steps into the house. There’s a sharp intake of breathe off camera.

Nothing happens.

“Well,” Pidge snarks. “That was anticlimactic.”

_//really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing//_

They’re in the kitchen. Rust covered pots and pans lay abandoned in the sink, and the fridge is wide open. Everything is covered in dust and a few drawers are open. The camera is doing a sweep of the room when suddenly Lance, who is by himself in a corner, jumps, then freezes. The camera zooms in on Lance’s scared face. “Hunk,” he whispers. “Did you grab my a[WHOOSH]ss?”

The camera quickly turns to Hunk, who’s a little grossed out. “Bro, I love you, but no way.”

Lance nods slightly once the camera turns back to him. “Keith, did you grab my a[WHOOSH]ss?”

“No,” Keith says off camera.

Lance swallows. “Pidge -”

“Fu[WHOOSH]ck no.”

Lance swallows again, eyes wide. A bead of sweat trickles down the side of his face slowly. “If none of you grabbed my a[WHOOSH]ss… then who did?”

Silence.

The camera shakily zooms in on Lance’s face again.

“OH MY GOOOOOO -”

_//really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing//_

They’re walking along a hallway upstairs. A few picture frames lay askew on the walls. The flowery wallpaper is peeling. A couple of doors are open. The floor creaks less than it did downstairs.

“Okay,” Keith mumbles. “This isn’t so bad.”

They walk in silence for a couple more seconds, before Lance, who’s beside Keith, throws his arm out dramatically. “Wait,” he hisses. “I… hear something.”

All four of them stop, the camera beginning to shake again as it scans the hallway. Keith’s face is scrunched up in concentration.

“It sounds like… crunching?” He says, confused.

“What _is_ that?” Pidge whispers.

Silence. A bag crinkles. More crunches.

“Oh,” Hunk mumbles. “That was me. Whoops.”

The camera turns to reveal Hunk holding onto a bag of chips sheepishly, a faint blush on his face.

“Dude,” Lance says. “Where do you _keep_ those?”

_//really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing//_

Now they’re in a bedroom. Lance is sprawled on top of a tiny bed, an arm and a leg hanging off. Hunk is inspecting a dresser, opening drawers and shuffling through them. The camera does a sweep of the room before it stops on a shelf covered in books. A hand appears on screen. The hand grabs a book, sets in on the floor and opens it. The hand shuffles through it before putting the book back on the shelf.

A crash.

The camera whips around so fast it almost falls over. It focuses on Hunk frozen beside the dresser, a drawer on the floor and clothes strewn about.

“Hunk, what the _fu_ [WHOOSH] _ck_?!” Pidge hisses, angry.

Hunk apologizes.

There’s a sigh before the camera focuses on Lance, who’s just chilling on the bed.

“Wait a minute,” Pidge says. “Where’s Keith?”

Hunk and Lance glance around the room before looking at each other, then the camera.

“Oh no.”

_//really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing//_

The three of them are now in the living room. Books lay in random places on the floor and a coffee table is overturned. Pidge is ranting about how _‘they made one rule and that rule was to stick together and not wander off. And what does he do? WANDER OFF THAT LITTLE MOTHERFU -’_

Lance is chilling on the overturned coffee table, glancing around the room like he expects Keith to jump out of a closet at any moment. Hunk is standing beside Lance, his head in his hands.

_//really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing//_

They’re in the kitchen again. No Keith. Lance looks in the stove, making a joke about Hansel and Gretel. Hunk smacks him.

_//really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing//_

Now they’re in a bathroom. No Keith, just a rat that scared the shit out of all three of them. Pidge dropped the camera.

_//really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing//_

All three of them are standing in front of a open door. There are stairs leading down into a dark void. The camera is shaking.

“I swear to god,” Hunk almost growls. “If he’s in the da[WHOOSH]mn basement I will kill him. KEITH? ARE YOU DOWN THERE?”

Silence.

“What’re you guys doing?”

All three of them whip around, scared out of their minds.

“AAAAHHHHH!”  
“AAAAHHHHH!”   
“AAAAHHHHH!”

Hunk almost falls down the stairs, Lance looks like someone killed his grandmother, and the camera is quaking.

“Oh,” Hunk sighs after he recovers from his heart attack. “Keith. It’s just you.”

Keith gives them a weird look. “Of course it’s just me. I went into the bedroom beside the one you guys were in because it was boring. Then I came back and you were gone. I’ve been looking for you.”

Lance’s jaw drops. He then goes on a rant about how they were looking for him and how he should’ve said something if he was going off on his own before - “Is that a scratch on your back?”

“Huh?” Keith says.

“Turn around,” Lance demands, and Keith does as told. There’s three gasps at the sight of a huge cut on Keith’s back. It’s not too deep, but it’s bleeding and his sweater and shirt is ruined.

“What?” Keith asks. “What?”

“There’s a -” Hunk starts to answer but is cut off by the basement door slamming shut of it own accord.

Silence. All chaos breaks loose.

All four of them are screaming their heads off as they break into a dead sprint out of the house.

_//really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing//_

They’re outside again. Hunk has his hands on his knees, panting hard. Keith is staring wide eyed at the house. Lance is sprawled out on the ground, eyes squeezed shut. Pidge’s loud breathing can be heard off camera.

“Well,” Hunk says. “That went well.”

The screen cuts to black.


	2. Video Number 2; The Bathroom Incident of 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stress was relieved (for a brief period of time) so this time our favourite band of ghost hunters explore a pink house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit for the ghostbusters au goes to blueradberry on tumblr
> 
> every time a [WHOOSH] happens it's pidge too lazy to edit out the full swear so they put in a whooshing noise halfway through it
> 
> every time there's a clip of the original ghostbusters dancing it means there was a transition in the video
> 
> ALERT!! Lance speaks some Spanish in here, but sadly the only Spanish I have at my disposal is from google translate. Horrific, I know. However, if anyone is fluent and would like to correct me, I would be very grateful!
> 
> Remember; art, comments, and critiques are always welcome!!

**_Views:_ ** **_3246_ **

**_Likes:_ ** **_3087_ **

**_Subscriptions:_ ** **_1640_ **

 

A jostling of a camera. It's lying on the floor, showing a beige carpet, yellow socks, and a brown couch. A pair of black socks walk up to the couch and someone sits down. There's muffled talking that the camera can't pick up. A door opens and two more people enter. Blue socks sit down beside yellow socks. Green and black socks sit on top of yellow socks's lap.

"Nope," a voice says in defiance. "There is absolutely no way I am ever doing that again."

Someone groans. "Oh c'mon Hunk. You have to admit that was fuuuuuun," blue socks nudges yellow socks. "I thought it was. After all, my a[WHOOSH]ss got grabbed and it felt  _ hella good _ -”

“ _ Gross _ Lance,” someone else says. “But he’s right; it was fun, even though Keith wandered off -”

“HEY.”

“- But we had a good time and stress was relieved. Now c’mon you lazy mofos, I got my camera up and running and found a new house to invade.”

“When you say it like that it sounds like we’re breaking and entering.”

“... We are.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

A pair of tan nostrils invades the screen. Someone with paler hands pushes his face aside, and a purple eye invades the screen. There’s a scoff, and a dark forehead with a yellow bandana shows up.

_ “Honestly,” _ someone says off screen before a small hand yanks the forehead away using the bandana and turns the camera onto the new house. It’s bigger than the one in their first video, and the walls used to be painted pink, except water and sun damage has turned them a nasty shade of brown. There’s no windows, only a shitty door barely staying upright. There are no trees in the yard, only a couple of dead bushes. The sky is overcast; wind beats up the few bushes in the yard and it’s drizzling.

“Yikes,” someone says sarcastically and the camera turns to reveal a tan guy with a hand on his hips. “A pink house Pidge? How  _ ominous _ .” He’s wearing a huge black sweater and light blue skinny jeans, white converse, and a maroon beanie shoved overtop of his shaggy brown hair. You can see an earring on each ear; a plain silver stud in the left ear and a feather that dangles from a tiny hoop in the other.

The person behind the camera scoffs. “Just introduce yourself, loser.”

Grinning, the tan guy waves cheekily at the camera. “Sup everyone! The name’s Lance McClain.”

A guy walks beside Lance and squishes his cheeks. He was huge, broad shoulders covered by a yellow hoodie and a black and white letterman jacket, baggy black jeans, and purple shoes. He grinned happily at the camera. “Hi guys, I’m Hunk Garrett.”

“You both are losers,” a guy off camera says. The camera swivels to reveal a guy wearing a dark red long-sleeve under a huge gray flannel shirt, black skinny jeans, and black combat boots. He waved at the camera. “I’m Keith Kogane.” Without another word, he took the camera to reveal a much smaller human.

They wave happily at the camera, dark orange hoodie flopping wildly. They shift their blue skinny jean clad legs, the laces of their black converse getting stepped on. “Sup motherfu[WHOOSH]ckers, I’m Pidge Holt.” They made grabby hands at the camera, and it was handed back to them. 

“Right, now let’s get to the good sh[WHOOSH]it,” Keith says to the camera.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

“Hunk, it’s your turn to go first.”

“No, I really think you should go first Lance.”

“How about Keith goes first?”

“I went first last time! Why can’t Pidge go first?”

“They’re holding the camera it has to be one of us.”

“... Rock paper scissors?”

“You’re on.”

Silence.

“FU[WHOOSH]CK.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

Lance stands in front of the door, sweating slightly.

“C’mon man,” Hunk says from his spot on the steps. “You lost, it’s only fair you go first.”

“Chingate*,” Lance grumbles before swinging the door open.

“Was that a Spanish swear? I have a feeling it was a Spanish swear,” Pidge says off camera. “You dork.”

Lance glares at them as he swings the door open. He turns around, gulps, and takes a step in. Nothing. Takes another step. Nothing. Another step, and with a loud scream, his foot goes crashing through the floor.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

Pidge is laughing so hard the camera is shaking, Keith is leaning against the wall, chest heaving, eyes screwed shut. Hunk is laying beside Lance, loud laugh echoing around them.

“OH VERY FUNNY,” Lance shouts, scowling so hard it looks like his eyebrows might come off. “YOU GUYS SUCK. WHAT IF SOMETHING EATS MY DAMN LEG. WILL ONE OF YOU PIECES OF SH[WHOOSH]IT HELP ME UP MY BALLS ARE STARTING TO HURT LIKE A BIT[WHOOSH]CH. I HATE YOU ALL YOU ALL CAN ROT IN HELL FU[WHOOSH]CK YOU ALL -”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

The camera zooms in on Lance, who (now free from his floor prison) is sulking in a corner. Keith, Hunk, and Pidge snicker loudly off camera.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

“Hi,” Lance says, face very close to the camera. “My name is Lance McClain. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Well… don’t look at me cause I have no clue either.”

A pale hand clad in fingerless gloves punches the side of his face.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

They’re in the kitchen. It’s cleaner than the last house; everything is put away, there are no stains on the counters, and everything is tidy - save for the thick layer of dust covering everything. Lance pulls out two pots and bangs them together, scaring the shit out Hunk, which results in him falling and hitting his head on the counter.

“Uuuuugggghhhh,” he groans, clutching his forehead.

Lance laughs loudly. “REVENGE,” he screeches, pointing an accusing finger at Hunk.

“Fu[WHOOSH]ck you man,” Hunk grumbles.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

The camera pans around a tiny bathroom. Lance is sitting in the shower, the curtain drapped dramatically around his shoulders. Keith is perched on the counter, watching Lance with amusement. Hunk is leaning against the wall, groaning at Lance’s antics.

Lance stands up, almost slipping over before regaining his balance. “I am Lance McClain, prince of - what the fu[WHOOSH]ck.” Lance had thrown his arms above his head immediately after he stood up, and three seconds later, his hoodie had been slowly lifting up of it’s own accord until it was bunched around his neck, revealing a tan six pack. They all stared at it (the hoodie not the six pack but if you looked close enough you could see Keith’s eyes wandering every couple of seconds) with wide eyes, a shocked gasp coming from behind the camera.

“Did someone lift my hoodie,” Lance says, voice shaking.

“No.”

“Nope.”

“I have no hands at my disposal.”

Lance audibly gulped. “Then who… GAH!”

Hunk pushed himself off the wall. “What, what?!” 

“Someone… someone is tracing their fingers over my abs.”

Silence.

Twenty seconds later, all four of them are scrambling to get out of the bathroom, climbing all over each other, before the three boys get stuck in the door. The camera swivels around. Lance, who’s shirt is still around his neck, is on the floor, squashed like a bug. Keith is laying on top of him, hands splayed over Lance’s bareback. Hunk is on top of both of them, legs askew.

“You guys are idiots.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

The camera zooms in on Lance’s face. He’s paler than usual; the bathroom incident of 2017 (as Hunk so graciously dubbed it) freaked him out more than a little. “Hi everyone,” he whispers dramatically. “So, we’ve lost Keith again and Hunk is over there -” he jabs his thumb over his shoulder and rolls his eyes “- happily eating cookies. And all I want to do is leave, but  _ SOMEONE  _ won’t get off his ass so we can find Keith!”

He stares very pointedly at Hunk, who glances up innocently.

“Cookie?”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

Lance and Hunk (who’s still eating cookies), walk along a hallway. The walls are a boring gray, but the floor is covered with bright pink carpet. Lance is sticking his head in doorways, coming out a couple of seconds later, the crease in his forehead deepening each time.

“What’s wrong Lance?” Pidge teases from behind the camera. “Are you worried about your  _ boyfriiiiieeeeeend _ ?”

Pidge shrieks as Lance tackles them, camera falling to the ground unceremoniously. 

“PIDGE HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I SWEAR ON HUNK’S LIFE IF YOU PUT THAT IN THE VIDEO I WILL ACTUALLY HURT YOU -”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

The camera is pointed at the basement door. It points to Lance, who is chewing the hell out of his bottom lip, then Hunk, who is sweating slightly.

“Should we… ?” Pidge asks off camera.

Hunk and Lance glance at each other. “Nah.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

They’re in the kitchen again, the camera pointed at Keith, who is half in and half out of the stove. Hunk, Lance, and Keith are frozen, staring at each other.

“Keith, what the fu[WHOOSH]ck?”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

All four of them are outside, Keith laying on the ground getting beat up by Lance for wandering off again, the two of them yelling insults as loud as their voices allow.

Hunk waves at the camera, giving it a closed eye smile. “Hello everyone! So we found Keith in the kitchen, trying to fit himself into the stove -”

“I ALREADY TOLD YOU SOMETHING WAS LITERALLY PUSHING ME IN THERE. IT WAS A GHOST A GHOST WANTED TO COOK ME FOR DINNER -”

“- And it was a little weird but Lance was still very freaked out so we just came out here and… that happened.”

The camera turns to Keith and Lance. The Cuban is straddling  Keith, fists gripping his flannel, shaking him mercilessly. They’re both screaming their heads off.

Hunk sighs.

The screen cuts to black.

 

 

 

 

*"Chingate"

EDIT: Thanks to the lovely CothN, who so graciously helped me out with my terrible, terrible Spanish, "chingate" should translate to "go fuck yourself" cause Lance is a whiny asshole but I love him


	3. Video Number 6; A Special Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is sick, so of course our resident ghost hunters decided to split up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit for the ghostbusters au goes to blueradberry on tumblr
> 
> every time a [WHOOSH] happens it's pidge too lazy to edit out the full swear so they put in a whooshing noise halfway through it
> 
> every time there's a clip of the original ghostbusters dancing it means there was a transition in the video
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sosososo sorry this is so late guys! I went on vacation for all of July and then when I came back I was swamped with hockey training camps. (I'm still exhausted from them tbh.) Anyways, to make up for it, enjoy this special chapter!

**_Views:_ ** **_4190_ **

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_ ** **_Subscriptions:_ ** **_2689_ **

 

A camera turned on to reveal two guys laying on the floor, the tan guy’s head resting on the larger guy’s stomach. The tan guy is wearing black adidas pants and a dark blue nasa hoodie, brown hair a curly mess, huge black glasses covering blue eyes. He coughed loudly, groaning miserably once he finished. The bigger guy is wearing baggy blue jeans, a gray cable knit sweater, and his trademark orange bandana. He put his hand on top of the smaller guy’s head and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Huuuuunk,” nasa hoodie moaned pathetically. “I hate being sick.”

“I know Lance, I know.” Hunk rolled up the sleeves of his sweater, revealing his tribal tattoos, and ran both his hands through Lance’s hair. “I can tell cause you didn’t bother to do your hair or put your contacts in. You even took your earrings out. That bad huh?”

Lance sighed, blinking slowly. “Yeah.”

A new guy wearing a huge maroon hoodie and grey sweatpants walked into the frame and sat down. “Guys, Shiro’s gonna be here soon so stop moaning.”

Lance shot him a half-hearted glare. “Stop being so  _ meeean _ Keith. I’m sick.”

“I know; you won’t shut up about it.”

Lance gasped loudly, but started coughing violently before he could get a word out. Worried, Hunk sat him up and patted his back. The Cuban didn’t stop for a while, and even Keith shot him a concerned look.

“Dude,” Keith said. “Do you need some water or something?”

Lance unwillingly performing his loud cough (that sounded a lot like ‘HONK’) before swallowing painfully. “That would be great, thanks.”

Hunk takes the camera, swiveling it around to reveal a tiny human clad in a green and white striped long sleeved shirt, overalls, and glasses almost too big for their face. They wave at the camera, plant a tiny kiss on Lance’s cheek, and then follows Keith into the kitchen. Hunk points the camera back at Lance, who wiggles his fuzzy-sock clad toes in response.

“I don’t know how long I’m gonna last today bud,” Lance says sadly, eyes foggy and unfocused. 

Hunk sighs, running his fingers through Lance’s curly hair again. “Don’t worry about it dude, we all want you feeling better.”

The Cuban opens his mouth to say something, but Keith interrupts by walking back into the room and handing Lance a glass of water.

“Hunk is right,” he says, smiling fondly at Lance. “Now, drink up.”

Lance smiles. “Thanks guys.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

Lance has flipped so he’s full on cuddling Hunk, eyes slowly fluttering closed. Pidge zooms in on his face as he sniffles and sneezes into his hand. The series of sneezes is then followed by a coughing fit. Hunk pats his back and hands him the glass of water, but Lance takes a sip too early and ends up half choking and half coughing. Everyone is yelling; Keith is running his hands through his hair, Hunk is full on smacking Lance’s back in his panic, and Pidge is screaming first aid advice from behind the camera.

“... Guys what the fu[WHOOSH]ck?”

Everything goes silent. Even Lance stops choking/coughing.

“Heyyy Shiro,” Hunk says, his voice an octave higher than normal. “Everything is cool. We’re cool. Lance is cool.”

The camera turns to reveal a tall Japanese guy, hair in an undercut, long fringe bleached white. He’s wearing a white sweatshirt under a gray athletic jacket, legs clad in black skinny jeans.

“How did you - how did you get in?” Keith asks, totally bewildered.

Shiro gives him a weird look. “You gave me a key six months ago.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

A jostling of a camera. It focus on a tiny white house, almost yellow thanks to the crappy quality of the paint. The yard is just dirt, windows are basically glass shards, and there’s only half of a door. It’s steadily getting darker out, and a couple of stars have appeared.

“Alright sh[WHOOSH]it heads,” Pidge says as they swivel around to reveal three guys. “Introduce yourselves.”

The shortest steps forward. “I’m Keith Kogane, that over there is Hunk Garrett, and the guy Hunk is giving a piggyback to is Lance McClain. He’s really sick, so he isn’t himself today.” He then takes the camera and points it at the tiny human in front of him.

“I’m Pidge Holt, and the camera is called Rover.” They shoot finger guns at the camera before taking it back.

Hunk steps forward, Lance groaning as he gets jostled. “However, we have a special guest - Keith’s step brother, Takashi Shirogane! But everyone calls him Shiro.”

Shiro steps into the frame, sending an awkward wave at the camera, which then turns back to the house.

Lance coughs loudly.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

“Okay guys,” Pidge says to the camera, hands shoved into their overalls. “So, as you may know, today episode is special for a couple of reasons. First, Shiro is our special guest so we’re going to subject him to terror like going in first.”

Shiro deadpanned.

“Second, since there’s an extra person, we’re going to split into two groups. Keith, Shiro and I will take the main floor and the upstairs, while Hunk and Lance - who’s high off cough medicine - will take the basement because they deserve it.”

“What?!” Hunk protested.

Pidge snickered.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

“Go Shiro, go Shiro, go Shiro, go Shiro, go Shiro -”

“Lance shut up.”

The sick boy pulled down on his left cheek and stuck his tongue out at Keith.

“Okay,” Shiro said, the camera swiveling to focus on him again. “Okay here I go.” He tentatively put his hand on the door handle and pushed.

Nothing.

He gave the camera a confused look before trying again.

Nothing.

Shiro sighed and leaned his entire body onto the door, which went crashing down, bringing Shiro with it.

Lance laughed loudly before having (yet another) coughing fit.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

The camera jostled around, the faint grumblings of Hunk in the background. It was pitch black in the room, and Hunk finally got the camera upright.

“Lance?” He asked, but got no response. “Uh, buddy? Where’d you go?” Hunk turned the night vision on, only to reveal Lance’s face grinning creepily at the camera.

Hunk screamed.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

A scream.

Shiro froze. “What was that?”

Pidge snorted from behind the camera. “C’mon big guy, you’re ex-military. Toughen up.”

“C’mon,” Keith said, nudging his step brother. “Let’s check out the kitchen.”

“Ooooo,” Pidge teased from behind the camera. “Do you wanna get shoved in the oven again?”

Silence.

“On second thought, let’s  _ not _ go into the kitchen.”

“Too late, it’s happening.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

Lance is laying on the floor, eyes wide. “Hunk,” he whispers, slowly moving his arms and legs like he’s making a snow angel. “This floor is cold. Is there snow in here?”

“Uhhh no.”

“Are you sure?” Lance whispers. “I can feel it… Hunk, come feel the snow.”

“There’s no snow Lance, you’re just high.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

Pidge, Shiro, and Keith are in the kitchen. Shiro is investigating the pantry, nose slightly wrinkled at the gross smell coming from it. Keith is up on the counter, looking in random cupboards. They do this for a couple more minutes before -

_ SQUEAK! _

_ “AAARGH!” _ Keith flails his arms as he lurches himself back too far and falls off the counter, landing smack on his back. A tiny little mouse lands on his chest, prompting all three of them to scream. The mouse scampers off and Keith groans, slightly winded from the fall.

“Fu[WHOOSH]ck,” Shiro says.

“Yeah, that just about sums it up,” Keith gasps.

Pidge snickers.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

A crash.

“Hunk,” Lance says, and the camera turns to face him, but the zoom was on for some reason, so only Lance’s nostrils and one eye gets in the frame. “Did you hear that?”

“Yeah,” Hunk mumbles.

“Let’s split up and check it out.”

“Okay,” Hunk agrees. “You go left and I’ll go right. If I need you, I’ll give you a signal.”

Lance gave him a look. “What signal?”

“I’ll imitate the scream of a terrified little girl.”

Lance nodded. “Alright sounds good.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

The camera pans around a bedroom - or what used to be a bedroom. The bed is completely destroyed; the frame split in two, old blankets strewn about, wood splinters everywhere.

“Wow,” Keith said. “The people living here must’ve had some  _ intense _ sex.”

Pidge snorted loudly. “Kind of like the sex you want to have with La-OOF.”

Keith had jumped at her, cutting her off at the last second, the camera going flying.

Shiro sighs.

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

“HUNKHUNKHUNKHUNKHUNKHUNKHUNKHUNK -”

The camera spins around from where it was examining an old piano and the person holding it sprints into the next room. It looks to be an old nursery, dolls strewn about the room and broken cribs littering the floor. Lance stands in the middle of it, eyes blown twice their normal size in fear.

“What, what?” Hunk asks frantically.

“Something…” Lance swallows. “Something is grabbing my a[WHOOSH]ss.”

Hunk walks around Lance and points the camera at his butt. Sure enough, there’s a hand-sized imprint in his jeans that wasn't there before. He walks back around to point the camera at Lance’s face. 

“Oh my god.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

“This is boring nothing is happeninggg,” Keith groans from his spot on the floor. “Pidge lets me wander off all the time Shiro.”

Pidge guffaws. “No I don’t, you wander off by yourself and then the rest of us flip our sh[WHOOSH]it trying to find you!”

Keith shrugs, which looked difficult because he was laying on the floor. “Same difference - ow what the he[WHOOSH]ll?”

An angry welt at appeared on his chest, spreading from his right shoulder down to just above his belly button. It cut his shirt and was bleeding a little bit, but it definitely wasn’t there before. 

Shiro’s eyes widen. “WHAT THE FU[WHOOSH]CK?!”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

Lance sways on the spot, eyes half closed. “Crashing… I’m crashing.”

“Oh boy.”

_ //really bad clip of the original ghostbusters dancing// _

“LANCE, HUNK, C’MON, WE GOTTA GET KEITH TO THE HOSPITAL,” Shiro yells down the stairs to the basement.

A few thumps are heard, before Hunk appears, carrying Lance in a backwards fireman carry, a smaller version of Pidge’s camera in his left hand. “What? Why?”

“He got cut by a ghost. What happened to Lance?”

Hunk sighed as he started climbing the stairs. “He crashed.”

The Cuban giggled, fingers stroking Hunk’s stomach. “So strong,” he cooed, giggling again.

Hunk sighed louder.

“Heyheyhey Hunk, where’s Keith? He’s really hot I gotta tell him y’know? I mean, I could die any day now - so could Keith! Ohmygod what if Keith dies -”

Hunk sighs again. “I shouldn’t be used to this.”


End file.
